Thursday, March 13, 2025

Studies say that we have at least twenty-seven different, distinct emotions. Have you ever stopped to think about how your kid is (or isn’t) navigating their twenty-seven emotions?

There are a few simple steps you can take as a parent to help them navigate their variety of emotions and process what they’re feeling.

1. First, Recognize the moment.

Whether or not your kid expresses their emotions openly, they’re experiencing them. If you have a more reserved child, knowing when they’re feeling emotional may require you to observe changes in their behavior. Are they quieter than normal? Have less of an appetite? Sleeping significantly more or less? Be a student of your kid and keep a pulse on when they’re not quite themselves.

2. Then, Remove them from the source.

Tell your kid that it’s okay to respectfully walk away from a situation or person before they take action on how they’re feeling. Give them permission to go into the other room and scream into a pillow. Walking away helps them take control of their emotions.

3. Next, Tell them to breathe.

It is scientifically proven that you will be incapable of thinking until you get blood and air back to certain parts of your brain once the adrenaline of a particularly emotional moment moves it elsewhere. Tell your kid to take deep breaths in and out until they seem calmer or more stable.

4. Then, Help them name it.

You can’t manage your emotions if you don’t know what you actually feel. Use a feelings wheel so they can easily and visually determine what they’re feeling. Or, if they already know how they’re feeling, give them a sliding scale to rate it. For example, how angry are you? From “a little mad” to “ready to scream your head off”? It may seem silly, but giving them context for what they’re feeling will help your kid weigh and process the levity of their current emotional state.

5. Finally, Refocus.

Give them a next step in addressing their emotion. If they’re bummed about failing their math test, suggest the two of you sit down and look at the incorrect responses to see where they went wrong. Don’t solve their problem—just redirect their focus.

The most important thing you can do when it comes to helping kids navigate their emotions is to communicate that all emotions—even ones that make us uncomfortable are okay. There is no “bad” or “wrong” way to feel—only unwise or hurtful ways to respond.

Reassure them that what they’re feeling is temporary, but that the way you feel about them will never, ever change.