Tuesday, August 8, 2023

I am constantly amazed by how great our God is! When I look over my life and see all the ways he has changed me and helped me grow I am stunned. This September, my husband and I will celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary. Looking back, I realize I was a young, immature and spoiled 21-year-old when we married. I believed my husband was supposed to fulfill my every need and do everything my way. Everything had to be fair, and I didn’t want to have to do one thing more than he did. And I kept score — counting every “infraction" and criticizing him for it. The more I demanded of my husband, the more I believed I was “owed”. I was never satisfied. It was all about me.

At some point, we started going to a small church where they talked about how wives should submit to their husbands! I was infuriated. I wasn’t just going to bow down to him. I was so angry at the first part of the verse I didn’t pay attention to what follows it.

Colossians 3:18-19
¹⁸ Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. ¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.

Thankfully, I was mentored by some loving Christian women, who helped me understand what is meant by this verse. It is an expression of love, trust, and respect to my husband. And in turn, husbands are called to love their wives. Another verse tells husbands to love their wives as Christ did the church (Ephesians 5:25-29). Both are called to a deep, sacrificial love. 

Over time, Jesus helped me realize it’s not my husband’s job to fulfill every need that I have. This is Christ’s job. Once I started recognizing all the things he does for me, I began appreciating his love and encouragement. I started to do things for him out of genuine love, not to get something in return. I became a prayer warrior for my husband and thanked him frequently for his efforts. In other words, I gained a more full understanding of Colossians 3:18-19. My perspective changed. It stopped being about me and became about us as a team.

I am so grateful that my husband lives out the second part of that verse so well. He loves me and takes care of me. He does sweet things like saving the last cookie for me, helping around the house, encouraging me and protecting me.

God gave marriage to us as a gift. It can be so beautiful, filled with blessings and joy. But just like any close relationship there are struggles and difficulties. Sometimes the effort I have to put forth doesn’t seem “fair”. But when we put others first and love them as Christ loved us, relationships, even with all their ups and downs, are beautiful and rewarding.

Questions:
How often do you tell your spouse/loved ones thank you for all they do for you? How hard is it for you to submit to someone? How do you show love and gratitude to your spouse/loved ones? 

Next Steps:
Pray for your spouse/loved ones. Ask God to show you how much they do for you and thank them. Read Ephesians 5:21-33.

Prayer:
Jesus, I am so grateful that you love me so much. Thank you for the gift of marriage and close loving relationships with others. Help me to really love others through good times and hard times. Help me focus on love and not fairness. Teach me to appreciate my loved ones and give me the desire to serve them. Fill me with gratitude for all your blessings. Change me and help me to be more like you. Amen

Series Theme Verse:
Colossians 1:23
But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. The Good News has been preached all over the world, and I, Paul, have been appointed as God’s servant to proclaim it.